There has to be something to that.
Most of my adult life I firmly believed that non comittal sex with a wide range of friends ('never got into the sex with strangers thing...I dig trust and intimacy) was ideal. Unlike monogamous relationships there was never anything to argue over, get tense about, jealous, no compromising...I had my life to myself and tons of good lovin'.
But somewhere in the back of my mind I think i still held that hopeless romantic image of the ONE person entering my life and sweeping me off my feet once and for all. I had too many people want me all to themselves to feel simply unwanted but no ONE person worth giving up the rest for and worth learning to live with full time.
Now...I'm older and pissed that I don't want casual sex nearly as much as I want intimacy AND familiarity. Getting really picky too. I don't just want to wake up in the morning with someone I want to wake up in the moring with the SAME person.
I tried getting laid awhile ago thinkin it would help snap me 'back to normal'. The sex was okay but kinda boring (after awhile it's nearly all just sex) but when he went to do the obligitory cuddling and tenderness part I fell apart emotionally. One caress and I flew out of bed and back into my clothes so fast...damn. Burst into tears soon as I was alone.
That's when I knew somehow I really had changed.
What I DON'T know is how the hell ya pick out that one person to try out that deeper level of intimacy with. Never had a long term monogamous relationship. They have always been too stifling.
So, now I know what I need and I'm old enough to be really picky about who I lavish that attention and devotion on...
I've made the shift emotionally but don't know what the hell to do with it.
Any ideas?
Most of my adult life I firmly believed that non comittal sex with a wide range of friends ('never got into the sex with strangers thing...I dig trust and intimacy) was ideal. Unlike monogamous relationships there was never anything to argue over, get tense about, jealous, no compromising...I had my life to myself and tons of good lovin'.
But somewhere in the back of my mind I think i still held that hopeless romantic image of the ONE person entering my life and sweeping me off my feet once and for all. I had too many people want me all to themselves to feel simply unwanted but no ONE person worth giving up the rest for and worth learning to live with full time.
Now...I'm older and pissed that I don't want casual sex nearly as much as I want intimacy AND familiarity. Getting really picky too. I don't just want to wake up in the morning with someone I want to wake up in the moring with the SAME person.
I tried getting laid awhile ago thinkin it would help snap me 'back to normal'. The sex was okay but kinda boring (after awhile it's nearly all just sex) but when he went to do the obligitory cuddling and tenderness part I fell apart emotionally. One caress and I flew out of bed and back into my clothes so fast...damn. Burst into tears soon as I was alone.
That's when I knew somehow I really had changed.
What I DON'T know is how the hell ya pick out that one person to try out that deeper level of intimacy with. Never had a long term monogamous relationship. They have always been too stifling.
So, now I know what I need and I'm old enough to be really picky about who I lavish that attention and devotion on...
I've made the shift emotionally but don't know what the hell to do with it.
Any ideas?
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Washington
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Re: function of age
Tue, December 9, 2003 - 4:00 AMdunno...you know...ive always thought that its whoever your standing closest to when you decide thats the kind of relationship you want. kinda like midsummer nights dream when someone falls in love with a donkey, cos its the first person they see when they have love powder in their eyes. only the donkey might be really nice and perfect.
my mum sais it doesnt matter who you marry so long as you can communicate with them.
someone else said it doesnt matter who you marry so long as you are both prepared to work at it. -
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Re: function of age
Sat, December 13, 2003 - 5:48 PMbeginning to think you may be right Tessa...I just spend a couple of wonderful days with four wonderful men and a couple of wonderful women and although I didn't have sex with any of them I was filled with the sense of comfort you get only when you have several people to meet and fill your needs.I had thought I was in a blindingly monogamous phase of my life and was beginning to try to stay away from donkeys just in case. Maybe I need to live in a commune with just one lover...
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